“Deep Maturity” Merit Badges:
Posted October 6, 2008 Return to: Lecture 1 Lecture 2
Lecture 3 Lecture
4 Lecture 5
These are all very, very tentative,
provisional, designed just to evoke thought and discussion. Please add
your own. Communicate them to me. Write your thinking up as a short
paragraph or essay. I invite your communications, suggestions! firstname.lastname@example.org
Taking on a significant addiction and struggling with it for more that
two weeks; breaking the denial barrier, and becoming sensitive to the
denial barrier. 25 points
Conquering a significant addiction and remaining “sober” or “addiction free” for two years. 75 points.
Taking on a mild addiction or moderate “habit” (one that doesn’t
disrupt your life so much, but still drains it of some of its potential
or vitality) and struggling with it for more that two weeks; breaking
the denial barrier, and becoming sensitive to the denial barrier.
Conquering a significant mild addiction or moderate habit. 35 points.
Working out with a spouse or adult child a co-dependency pattern and backing off from enabling: 35 points.
Facing a moderate decision and fulfilling all 4 criteria of decision-making: (35 points)
(i.e., (a) not rushing in, nor unduly putting it off; (b) really
identifying and evaluating, weighing both pros and cons; c) seeking
consultation from a reliable and not too emotionally involved other as
consultant; and (d) ensuring that your approach is basically ethical.
Re-evaluating a desire, opinion, or belief and finding that parts of it are based on illusion. 10 points.
Refining a religious or spiritual belief, making a finer
discrimination, re-positioning yourself so that you can appreciate the
extremes. 10 points
Considering you might have been mistaken about something that you had
previously thought or believed in an unquestioning fashion. 5 points.
Investigating that question and deciding that your previous thought
needed revision, and figuring out what that revised thought, opinion,
would be. 5 points.
Listened to your intuition when a decision or action wouldn’t make much difference, following your impulses: 5 points.
Letting your intuition be a significant element in weighing a decision (but not necessarily the deciding factor): 5 points.
Becoming spontaneous so you feel that it wasn’t you who did
something—whether it be singing, dancing, making up poetry, coming up
with an idea—letting yourself be inspired, or getting into
“flow.” 5 points.
Find a way to Hope in your life: 15 points
Be able to share hope with significant others 10 points
Be able to have fun, keep a twinkle in your eye on at least one occasion on 5 days out of a week: 15 points
Notice tendencies to becoming judgmental about your adult kids and the
ways they’re raising their kids, conducting their lives versus letting
go, laughing at the “fuddy-duddy” complex in your mind: 10 points.
(Extra five if you tend to blame your kid’s spouse more than your kid,
and can let go of this tendency.)
Noticing a desire to accumulate points and being tempted to fudge on
the criteria, or to stretch the achievement in order to qualify; and
resisting that desire so that instead what is gained is a deeper desire
to learn the lesson, absorb the spirit of the principle involved.
(i.e., resist cheating)
Mentor someone effectively: 3 points.
De-clutter your life. 0.2 points / box.
Discuss with someone and feel that you have introduced a measure of
rational coordination to your jumble of ideas that constitute your
philosophy of life. Correlate your thoughts with other wisdom
traditions. Find a book that mirrors your thoughts. 1 point per item.
Select a hero. 1 point each, requiring a small explanation as to what
criteria this person has exhibited or manifested that makes him or her
worthy. (The person need not be pristine or pure in every way—but the
quality must be something you would want to emulate or have your kids
Recognize a neurosis and begin to work on it. 3 points.
Resolve a mild neurotic symptom. 5 points
Begin to write your memoirs. 0.1 point per page. The goal here is to reflect on your becoming within your historical context.